I will admit that lately, it's been hard not to be bitter. It sometimes feels easier to wallow in self-pity than to focus on the positive when you have to really work to find the positive things.
Every year, Thanksgiving is a reflective time for me, but this year I really had to struggle to identify things to be thankful for. When you're bracing yourself for what seems must be the inevitable, the next rain of frogs or plague of locusts, you're not as able to think about the good things. So I had to work hard to compile these things. To help me, I looked back at a few photos from recent months.
1. I'm thankful to live on Lake Erie, home of beautiful sunsets and other treasures.
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2. I'm thankful that I can generally find interesting things to take pictures of, no matter where I go.
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3. I'm thankful to live near Presque Isle State Park, where you can drive or hike or go to the beach.
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4. I'm thankful for these two kiddos of mine, here in their Halloween gear. Like all kids, they're good at causing some stress on occasion, but I guess I've kept them this long so I can't let them go now. Kind of like stray dogs that you feed a couple of times, they seem to latch on. ;-) As a matter of fact, I'm thankful for my whole extended, imperfect, but supportive family.
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3. I'm thankful to live near Presque Isle State Park, where you can drive or hike or go to the beach.
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4. I'm thankful for these two kiddos of mine, here in their Halloween gear. Like all kids, they're good at causing some stress on occasion, but I guess I've kept them this long so I can't let them go now. Kind of like stray dogs that you feed a couple of times, they seem to latch on. ;-) As a matter of fact, I'm thankful for my whole extended, imperfect, but supportive family.
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5. And lastly (and I really had to ponder this one), I'm thankful that I'm still alive. No matter what happens, my kids need me, and they're great motivators. I may not enjoy what I'm going through right now....as a matter of fact, I may even ponder late at night that nothingness might be better, but that thought is quickly banished. I need to get stronger for them and slowly but surely, I'm trying. And trying is all anyone can ask, isn't it?
6 comments:
You look pretty in your new haircut. :) You are so inventive, Amy--always--and it strikes me to tell you this when I see how you go looking among your photos for the things you can place on your thank-you list. You are on my list.
1), Each sunset that goes down in Erie, is followed by a sunrise that comes up. Beauty can be seen coming and going. We tend to admire goodbye-sunsets in Erie, not the hello of morning greatness.
A new morning awaits you, and your whole family.
2)The Creator has placed awe everywhere.....for those who look.
Even in a marriage; even in a divorce. Even in love; even in depression---Van Gogh comes to mind on that.
3). The leaves on the trail were ALL, once connected to the trees, at the Peninsula. Now they lay scattered.
The mosaic of "scattered" drew the picture from your heart, not the leaves sitting on a tree.
Mosaics take many forms, each form worth a picture to remember in the December of our lives.
Snap mosaics of your times now. You'll see 'em.
Broken parts make the best pictures, when seen as a whole again, or a different perspective.
A simple wagon wheel tells the whole story of settlement of the West in US History.
What does your mosaic tell us?
4). There are no "perfect families"; only perfect lies that conceal the flaws, in what appears perfect family.
Everyone is carrying a cross that can not be captured in picture. But it does reflect in the pools of our hearts.
Your free models are on loan and will soon be gone from the home.
The only failure for a parent is to NOT have them leave one day.
Photographs catch meaning, in time spent with both children every day.
They seemed to enjoy time spent taking pictures with dad too. HE is not their fight, just their father.
Still produce photos of the kids and dad. It is your talent; their dad; everyone's memory.
5). The photo reflects you on the outside. A metamorphosis is underway. Problems you face have been faced by many in this community, as surely as waves hit the beach each day.
But the photo does not capture the changes within a person.
That, requires the eye of a Creator.
People face cancer, M.S., job loss, homelessness, foreclosure, depression, diabetes, abandonment, rejection, loneliness, guilt, deception, and worse.
They recover.
Regardless of what life throws at you, you will recover too.
Be honest with yourself, your children, your family and friends.
Honesty....shows up as authenticity in pictures.
You have already done that!
6). Accept prayers from strangers.
Sometimes, life is so exhausting, we can not pray for ourselves.
That is when other people step in and pray a solution emerges. Erie folks are good at that!
You are not alone.
Just Ahead of Your Ability, for now.
The rabbit thought life was a race.
The turtle thought life was a journey.
The journey....won the race too.
Pace yourself WITH your ability, not ahead.
Best regards and Happy Thansgiving,
Danny Lucas
Amy,
I was just reading Danny's comments and thought thatzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzz...
Hello Amy,
I was reading dMack's comment (or rather attempt at comment) and faced a dilemma.
I presumed she had too much fowl yesterday and it carried over into the weekend.
I, on the other hand, took you at your word:
"As a special note, I would really like to thank Danny Lucas for his insightful comments and suggestions on the pictures in my last post. I appreciate all the comments everyone leaves, but he had some excellent criticisms that made a lot of sense to me. So thanks, Danny! Feel free to leave me CC any time! "
~~~Amy
So I can "feel free to leave comments any time" per you at YOUR blog, or listen to a failed blogger in her own right, making another failed comment.
Some people have difficulty expressing themselves positively, and I often let it ride.
However, if my comment this day offends YOU in any way, simply delete it.
I take no offense; afterall, my critic is dMack once again. Her personality is known through her old blog....defunct I believe.
I pray things get better; not bitter in your household, Amy.
When you said "feel free to leave cc anytime", I took you at your word. My comments have been few, as many, many folks, say what I would have said.
But this is different.
A specialist in personal attack seeks to overide your personal invitation to me to speak here.
Delete me if it bothers you; let it stand if there be any comfort in the words.
dMack's comment reflects her entire ability to understand sentences. Less turkey next year may avoid a fowl/foul Friday after for her.
My thoughts are with you often Amy, how your doing, what your feeling. It's nice to see your newest pictures and words and to see that you are picking up the pieces and moving forward. Life does go on with all it's struggles, go on at your own pace, you are a strong person and we love you.
You are always in my thoughts, Amy. Love you!
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