Saturday, January 2, 2010

Moving Forward

Some of the changes that come our way are expected and manageable or even anticipated. For example, we expect to turn from this:


to this. And people are generally ready for it. Hell, some even like it.


But when we turn from this:
to this:
the changes that are forced upon us can be incredibly draining and unwelcome.


2009 was absolutely the worst year of my life, far and away. I'm not exaggerating in the least. Much of what has happened has been bad enough that it would make the producer of a Lifetime movie shake his head and say, "No, not realistic enough. No one would believe that." So at this point, I believe I have two choices.

I can curl up and wallow in misery and self-pity, or I can try to move through grief and pain, and stumble a lot on the way, but eventually, hopefully, get better. I tried the wallowing first. It didn't get me anywhere. So all that's left is the moving forward.

And some days are still incredibly difficult. But these days are coming just a little fewer and just a little farther between. I'm not all better yet, but unlike when everything first unravelled (and then burst into flames), I can see that there will be a day when I do feel better. That's definitely an improvement.

So I'm certainly not at the end of my path....but at least I'm on it.


There's a lot to do.I'm up for it.

19 comments:

Jodie said...

Grest pics and linking them to your comments. I hope that you have a great year.

CindyTykie said...

What a great way to tell your story, the pics are beautiful. I hope you have a much better year this year

Anonymous said...

There are millions upon millions of stories; it's the ending that's the only common thread. Live the story; there's a lot more to pen in. Now, with the moon rising above St. Helena Sound, I can tell you...you'll never see anything like it unless you experience it.

Chapter 2010....

your pal!
J

Esther said...

I SO hope 2010 brings you joy and LIFE. I love how you tell a story with your photos.

Nessa said...

I love your photos and story. I completely understand, 2009 seems to be a pretty crappy year for a lot of people (myself included) I love the path photo, it makes me want to take a similar one. I just don't live near any snow, LOL!

Michelle said...

I love the way you wove your story and photos together. You are definitely strong and ready for the challenge!

Lou said...

I love photojournalism...and you, too. :)

bprincephoto said...

Hope 2010 will be a better year. I really can understand.

~JustJulie~ said...

Great storytelling! You can definitely do it, and be strong. And your story makes me want to read on.

Jami said...

Beautiful shots!

Reds said...

So sorry you had a bad year - wishing you a wonderful new year! and glad you are back!

Nicki said...

Please let us be your crutch, your 'exhale' so to speak - when needed. You sound like a survivor - take no shame in the wallowing portion (who hasn't been there). And while it sounds like you've had a tough one - talk us through the step up. (fantastic pics by the way!)

Gypsy Girl(Brenda) said...

Great photos and journaling. I hope that 2010 brings you great things.

Chell said...

Brought a tear to my eye. GREAT journaling with your pictures. Can't wait to see more POTD from you and I pray that 2010 is your year to shine!!

tori said...

I hope 2010 is a much better year for you!

Anissa said...

What a great post! TFS

Angela2932 said...

Oh, Amy. I don't know what 2010 did to you, but I know it was bad. Big time "bad." When you make references to it, my heart really goes out to you, and I just want you to know that I'm in your corner, and say a silent little prayer for you, for the better times.

Lou said...

Your photos and your story are beautiful. And it seems you have a beautiful spirit also. I hope 2010 brings you beauty, hope, and happiness.

dmacK said...

did danny lucas write this stuff?

good luck with everything and, umm, there's a bat in the cave....