Not a Flicker, A Glimmer.

My usual m.o. when I post a new entry is to go on about how sorry I am it's been so long since I updated. Not this time. People who know me and know what has happened will understand.

These are the first pictures I've taken since mid-October. I've been too deep in a dark hole to consider even trying. As a matter of fact, I couldn't even imagine picking up my camera.

But even when we're grieving, day-to-day life demands that we attend to certain things. And so it was last Tuesday that I found myself outside, raking and bagging leaves. I was feeling extraordinarily tired. Not just from the raking, from breathing. I'd been tired before I'd even come outside.

And then I happened to look up, and I saw this bird.

At first, I had my woodpeckers mixed up, and I thought this was a Flicker. And I thought that was really poetic, because seeing her (I think it's a girl due to the lack of red blaze on the nape) made me think about how life goes on and we get through even that which seems insurmountable....you know, like a flicker of hope.

So I put down the rake and tried to go inside quietly to retreive my camera. I was able to capture quite a few shots as she made her way up and down the branches looking for food.

Later, I decided it would be a good idea to look the bird up online to make sure I had my facts straight. Turns out it wasn't a Flicker, it's a Downy Woodpecker. Now, the name Downy just doesn't seem to have the same significance as the name Flicker would have, but all the same: watching this bird made me want to capture some shots, and made me forget about my troubles for a couple of minutes. I actually felt a small glimmer of happiness and hope. And at this point, that means a lot.